We think it’s cute that you’ve been experimenting with democracy. To us Americans, it’s like watching our children get into Mommy’s makeup, or Daddy’s guns. Precious. But our global pollution, nuclear arsenal, and hegemonic control of your economies aren’t really any of your business, are they? If you would like to participate in our election, you’ll have to pass the regular admissions process for statehood just like Alaska and Iraq. Otherwise, rest assured that even if we had elected Barack Obama, we would have just assassinated him anyway, and had the Supreme Court turn the White House over to…I don’t know, Bristol Palin? Does it matter anymore?
The United States of Hey, Can I Borrow Some Money?