Tuesday
16Sep2008
The Sarah Palin Baby Name Generator
I find it difficult to even imagine the conversation that led to naming a child, an innocent child, something like “Trig” or “Track.” And I wonder, from time to time, if I had been born into such a cruel, soulless, dead-eyed family, what might my name have been? Well, I don’t have to wonder anymore, because David Harrington has constructed this handy Sarah Palin Baby Name Generator to reveal the curse that God and loving parents spared me from.
I caution you, though: Knowing what name the Palin famiy would have given you is like knowing the exact time and place of your death. Liberating, but ultimately it leaves you empty inside. And you can’t ever un-know it.
My Sarah Palin baby name: Strangle Thicket Palin
The horror, the horror.
Mxrk
Reader Comments (9)
Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father, did he, Mxrk?
My Palin name is Bash Budweiser Palin.
Fleck Rookie Palin. Gross.
Mine is Rink Rebate Palin. How delicate.
Lean Pipe Palin, which sounds about right...
Also... we should start taking bets about the mini-Palin that one of those daughters is about to spawn. That baby's name might depend on the outcome of the election, actually... like if they win, maybe they'll just go ahead and choose Lucifer. But if they lose, my bet is "Bog." "Bog Palin."
I have it on pretty good authority that the child will be named "Chastity."
It so happens that I'm teaching my students about Cotton Mather and the witch trials today; I stumbled upon this fodder -- you might enjoy it:
Palin Believes in Witches.
Yikes
Axe Diesel Palin -- but i already knew that.